Thursday, June 25, 2009

I need a little help

An inscription on the label of the bottled tea I am at this moment drinking reads as follows:

"Thomas Paine, Susan B. Anthony, and Martin Luther King, Jr. Though their ideas seemed radical at the time, these free-thinkers were essential ingredients for our democracy. Free radicals in our bodies, however, can lead to premature aging, heart disease, and cancer. Fortunately, antioxidants can counteract those harmful effects. Our tea features three of the most antioxidant-rich ingredients: pomegranates from Turkey, white tea from India, and the super-fruit acai from the Amazon. It's radical in its own way. New ideas never tasted so good."

Absorb that. Okay, now, my questions are as follows: (1) Is the tea comparing itself to Thomas Paine, Susan B. Anthony, and MLK, or to those who would oppose them? (2) Is either one of those options any less totally insane than the other?

Also acai is fucking gross, I don't care how good it is for me.

2 comments:

  1. I think they are saying: Our tea killed MLK, T. Paine, and SBA.

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  2. Did you get your tea from the J. Peterman catalog?

    ReplyDelete